#the opening number is legitimately pretty funny

[jelly-o630]

Been listening to new musicals today and for a show called Two Strangers (carry a cake across New York) you’d think there’d be more comedy but every single song is so freaking dramatic and the rhymes suck 90% of the time like I’m sorry but this is like 3 or 4/10 musical at best, every song except the opening is trying to be the most heart wrenching song of the show (except for the opening number) and does it such a disservice

I will say there is one really good song and that was About To Go In but besides that one they’re all really forgettable

[purerae]

What if the reader was high/drunk and when she’s high/drunk she’s the sweetest and very loving. How would Kieran react? Would he be all lovey with her?

╭────༺♡༻────╮

YANDERE!PLAYBOY X FEM!READER.

DRUNK IN SWEETNESS // ONESHOT.

warnings ;; yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour , fluff, obsession, lying (??), jealousy etc, slight angst (if you squint)

click here for the masterlist!

╰────༺♡༻────╯

Kieran walks into the party that he was dreading going to. Because he gave up hooking up with girls, going to parties was too boring for him. He can’t get drunk because he has a very high tolerance and the conversations he has with his so-called ‘friends’ makes him want to feel pain so he can shoot himself five times in the head.

The white-haired male would much rather talk with you, feel you, and joke around with you. Too bad, every time he asks for your number you mutter out a sarcastic response and switch the topic.

It’s not his fault he wants to speak with you at all times! I mean…He could just sneak into your house and watch you from there. But he isn’t going to do that of course! He’s not a fucking creep.

As he walks deeper into the house party, alcohol is pushed against his nose as his past hookups wink at him, the ones who want to be his new girl attempt to walk up to him but he just gives them a wink and pushes past them. If he got a coin for the number of people who dabbed him up and knew his name while he didn’t know theirs, He’d probably be twice as rich as he is now.

The playboy (or ‘former’ playboy) gets pulled into a conversation with the football jocks as they speak about the next game, who they’re going to go for and just basic stuff etc. Kieran makes a joke here and there and he can’t tell if they’re laughing at it because it was legitimately funny or if they’re laughing because they want to get on his good side.

With you, he never had to think that. He knows that you laugh if something is actually funny and God, it makes him feel so proud when he’s the one who gets the laugh out of you.

Speaking of you…His eyes glance away from the group for a split second and the same eyes widen at the scene in front of him. It was you. Dressed up for a party he would never imagine you would go to and hell, you looked fine as fuck. But there was no way you would go to this shitty party! Who would even invite you? The jocks?? No, no it couldn’t have been. Could it?

Maybe he’s just too obsessed with you that he’s imagining you there. He quickly disregards the conversation and walks up to the couch he’s supposedly imagining you on. But there you were, In the flesh. He gives you an infamous smirk before smoothly saying

“Woah, didn’t kn—“ “Oh, my god!! Kieran! Helloooo!!” You grin at him before jumping up from your seat, almost stumbling to the ground and give him a big hug before giggling. “Fancy seeing you here~!”

Kieran remained still for what felt like hours but was actually around 5 seconds. Why were you happy to see him? Why are you hugging him??? “…Haha hey now— What’s gotten’ into you princess?”

This was one of the first times he was almost speechless. Normally you reject his advances constantly. Even if he put an arm around your shoulder, you would give him a sharp glare and push him off. But now…You’re hugging him?!

Unfortunately for him, you let go of the blissful hug before looking up at him and pouting with wide glassy eyes.

“Are you not happy to see me…I’m r-really happy to see you, Kieran!” You sniff and flop back onto the couch. Glaring at him with narrowed eyes and a pout on your cherished lips.

The blue-eyed male recovers from his shocked flustered stare before realising…bottles everywhere, your eyes were struggling to stay open, emotions off the rail. You were obviously drunk! Your personality seemed more intimate too. He could use this to his advantage. Kieran quickly sits down next to you and holds onto your arm.

“Of course, I'm happy to see you, cutie! I'm always happy to see your pretty little face~” He flirts back at you, wondering how the drunk version of you would respond.

You lean into his touch and smile. “I knew you’d be happy to see me..!!” you look at his face and then his shirt before placing a hand against it. “Woah— your shirt suits you so much, Kier! You should wear blue more often” You compliment him with a wide smile and your eyes closed.

Kieran looks at your flushed face. In his heart, he knows it’s because of the alcohol but ignorance is bliss so he’ll pretend it was because of him. His face matched yours despite not drinking anything. The new nickname and the compliment which you never give him, gives him electrical pangs in his heart.

He looks down at you with a widened smile and you’re so close to him, he just wants to kiss your red plumped lips but decided against it. He wanted you to be sober when you guys kissed. He wants you to remember his lips on yours.

“Jesus, how much did you drink princess?” He mutters to himself, intending for you not to hear but since you guys are only 8 cm away from each other, you hear him loud and clear.

With a big frown, you say “I'm not drunk…at all… barely even dranked…drunk..drank?” you slur your words out and struggle to keep your head up before giving up and placing it on his chest.

To people surrounding you guys, it looks as though you’re his millionth girlfriend and he’s just flirting with you. But Kieran doesn’t care what people think. The male turns you around and lets you lean on his chest with a content smile, he wraps his hands around your shoulders.

“Hm? I believe you babe~ you’re not drunk at all, yeah?” He says with a humming tune in his voice.

You let out a “Mhm!” noise and you guys stay like that for a while. Kieran is flirting with you and instead of your sarcastic responses, you giggle and laugh while acting all sweet to him too. He knows if you were sober right now and saw how you were acting with him, saw the very public display of affection, You’d vomit all over the place and never speak with him again.

But he was always good at keeping secrets.

Your sweet conversation got cut off by one of Kieran’s ‘friends’ who walks up to you both with a drink in hand before laughing.

“Yoo, this your new bitch? She’s hot as fuck, where’d ya’ get her?” He yells out, obviously drunk and high and everything in between.

Kieran’s smirk turns into an angered look. Something no one has ever seen before. His eyes darken as he hears the cunt refer to the love of his life as a ‘bitch’…as well as complimenting her too! No one deserves to compliment what's his. He should be the one to call you hot, not some guy who doesnt even know your name.

He snarls out “She’s my girlfriend you freak, Say shit like that one more time and I’ll knock you the fuck out. Got it?” He places his signature smirk back on but his eyes remain the same.

The poor guy has never seen Kieran act like this before. This was a look he never wanted to see ever again. He responds meekly with a “m-my bad bro” Before scurrying off like a lost little sheep.

Kieran’s smirk drops once again as he holds you even tighter in his grasp. His fingers dig into your skin as you yelp in pain.

“Ow!”

His touch loosens. “Sorry princess, just close your eyes again for’ me, okay?” He looks down at you and sees your tilted head staring at him with a confused and worrying stare. He raises his eyebrow before you softly explain

“I’m…your girlfriend?” Kieran laughs and nods his head confidently.

“Of course! Did my cute girl drink so much that she almost forgot?~” He pecks your nose before leaning back onto the armrest and closing his eyes, his arms still resting against your body.

You make a noise of confusion before accepting the fact that you’re his ‘girlfriend’ and get comfortable against him again.

“Ah…Sorry!” You giggle out. and hold onto his arms.

Kieran knows this is wrong. He knows that if you knew he did this, you'd hate him forever. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the domestic feeling of being a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

Although he loves your snarky responses, He could definitely get used to the sweet side of you. Just one more hour of this. Please.

purerae<3

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

First of all: I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR BLOG literally can't stop reading yours posts!!!!

now, i want to know if you could do a headcanon with Jhonny or Bam, about their girlfriend doing a sex photoshot with all the jackass guys (something that involved a halloween special ep + playboy idk), and he GET REALLY JEAlous

anyways i love your blog. just it.💕

Playboy Photoshoot HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Y/N, Bam Margera X Fem!Y/N (slight Steve-O X Fem!Reader X Chris Pontius)

Warnings: Extremely suggestive content, pornography, flirting, jealousy, awkward boners, taunting, possessiveness, leather, choking kink, praise kink, minimal plot, fighting

An: Thank you so much for the request and all the love!! What a start to my Halloween special ;) The costumes in this fic were inspired by the convict stunt that Johnny did, and fun fact: since the first movie was released arround a week before Halloween, this is all totally feasible! Ps. I completed more than one request for these HC’s , so see attached! ;)

That halloween photoshoot looked more like a frat party held in a Toys R Us than a legitimate operate run by Playboy, what with all the props and bizarre costumes

Not a typical set up, but they wernt exactly dealing with typical subjects…

You were dressed up in this sexy little leather number that was supposed to be a police officer’s uniform judging by the hat,

On the other hand, your boyfriend and his buddies dressed as convicts clad in orange jumpsuits, no tiny skirts or egregious heels to be found

You thought to call sexism on that, but part of you knew that if you did Chris would offer to wear the outfit too and match with you and he’d probably be able to pull that off.

While the others were fucking arround on the faux prison set, Johnny wandered over to one of the photographers, “Hey, anybody know where-?”

Coincidentally, that’s right about when you walked on set,

The second he saw you all dressed up, Knoxville got those big cartoon heart eyes and stuck out his wrists in a ‘cuff me’ gesture. Your heart melted

“Ah! You are just too much!” Giggling, you pulled him in for a hug, incidentally squishing his face in your boobs (thanks, egregious heels),

Not that he minded, nor the other guys, who were very not sneakily watching you two.

The cameras started flashing, and while you didn’t exactly know what to expect out of a porno photo shot, it certainly wasn’t this-

Sandwiching you him and Chris, Steve chuckled lowly in your ear, “You gonna frisk me, officer?”

Despite the obvious suggestive tone, he really only said it to be funny.

What else are you supposed to say when you’ve got your hands all on your buddy’s chick?

And while innocent as well, Pontius didn’t make the situation any better when he leaned over his shoulder from where he was squished up behind you and asked,

“Y’think I could try that on next? It looks great on you!”

Any guy would get pissed at this. Especially Johnny, who wants exactly the most open to you gettin’ felt up by his buddies

Sitting just off to the side, Knoxville was quietly fuming. I mean, there’s a fine line here, and those two idiots were getting pretty damn close to it.

Bam was about to nonchalantly kick flip over that line.

Given the setup and the leather and handcuffs and whatnot, things got, for lack of a better word, dominatrixy

Pulling Bam into an armhold with a prop baton for a couple shots, you really had no clue he would get hard before you sat down to straddle his hips

He didn’t seem like the choking type but hell, who are you to speculate?

Those orange jumpsuits did nothing to hide the obvious.

While making full on eye contact with Knoxville, he flashed him a shit eating grin and let out a taunting little groan, “Fuck…”

He knew he was screwed. Or more aptly, you were screwed

Like the discrete man he was, Johnny quietly pulled you away from the action and into a dressing room. Shutting the door behind you, he stood far too close,

“Y/N,” Knoxville leaned in and put his big hands on your shoulders, trying to keep his voice down as he explained, “I don’t like the way the guys’ve been lookin’ at you.”

Grinning, you poked fun at his sudden hesitance, “Cmon- It’s a Playboy shoot.”

This was your chance, Eyes glinting, you provoked him a bit, “What? You jealous or somethin’?” His lips straightened into a stiff line.

The sound of his resolve cracking, then breaking was nearly audible as he snapped, “Yeah, I’m jealous!”

Before you could spit out that he’s the one that asked you to do this, Knoxville pounced on you.

Wrapping you up in those gangly arms, his hands searched for any skin to find purchase on

It was brutal. Animalistic and angry and drenched in hormones; even you were a little surprised by it. Not in a million years would you think a guy like him had it in him

Not that you didn’t enjoy it. In fact, you enjoyed it a lot more than you’d care to admit.

Here you were in some dressing room, tugging at eachother’s clothes like you couldn’t get them off fast enough.

In the fervor, the two of you tumbled onto a couch, your hands fisting orange as Knoxville made his little bid for territory,

Burying his face in your neck, the air between your bodies was thick. Hands working at costume pleather, Johnny couldn’t fight off a grin at himself.

With a murmur, his natural ability to goad a reaction slipped through, “Yeah? Cmon- y’think Bam could do this?”

You knew it as well as he did- if Bam was in his shoes, looking down at you like this, that dipshit would’ve glued his boxers to his left leg the minute he walked in the room.

Shaking your head no, you let out a little gasp as Johnny roughly hiked your leg up on his hip

He chuckled to himself, eyes glinting as he murmured, “Atta girl…”

[kiwiana-writes]

Summarise WIPs badly

So this is the part where I normally say “thanks for the tags” but actually it’s a big old middle finger for the tags @cha-melodius @orchidscript @magicandarchery and @anincompletelist because I’m pretty sure most if not all of you know how fucking dire my WIP situation is right now. So this is definitely not all of them—instead it’s a combination of next cabs off the rank and ones I could think of a funny bad summary for. If you can’t see one you love here, it’s not abandoned, it might still be coming sooner than some of these, I’m just not smart enough to summarise it badly 😂

@indestructibleheart and I constantly try to one-up each other in the emotional pain stakes, but in fic form

Enemies to lovers needs way more legitimate hate fucking

I Shoehorned Something Into The Much Ado Epilogue Last Minute And Now I Have To Justify It: a Fandom Trumps Hate Tale

Los Bastardos commit (emotional) insider trading

Rafael is surrounded by disaster queers [bonus points for this being the actual doc title]

You’ve Got Mail: fetish website edition

Henry canonically wants to spend his Crown money in the most spiteful way possible, so why not make that horny and just a little ✨problematic✨

If you have an exhibitionist streak but you’re super fucking famous, have you tried ghosts?

Let’s just bring the monsterfucker undertones of beauty and the beast out into the open

What if I broke everyone’s hearts but in verse

You make one smartass comment on a @sparklepocalypse WIP Wednesday and suddenly you have another WIP of your own, and Henry’s gonna suffer in a whole different way

The number of fics I write per fandom where someone turns into a swan is low, but apparently never zero

What if I change almost everything about everyone’s favourite non-Disney film and hope they like it anyway?

As a bonus to this, I invite anyone reading this to send me asks telling me which ones you wanna see next and/or to get more info about any of the above. You might get a snippet, or a bit of outline, or just some unhinged rambling!

Tagging @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @nontoxic-writes @sherryvalli @sparklepocalypse @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play.

[laurent--stpierre]

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL:

Follow up to someone having the audacity to interrupt Spencer's dinner. Date: Evening of 21/8/24. Warnings: Kate up to her usual ish. 

“It’s not a date. Please stop calling it a date, or I’m legitimately going to throw myself in front of the next bus to drive past. Look, there’s one right there—”

“Why are French women the most dramatic people on the planet?”

The words had been more than enough to draw an irritated frown from him, but when the miniature human—balanced on towering Versace heels, yet somehow still shorter than his pocket-sized ass—darted toward the road like a certified escapee, he grabbed the top of her arm and yanked her back beside him. The protest drew some attention from the crowded street, but both promptly ignored.

“Dramatic is rich coming from you.”

Laurent St. Pierre met her retort with a mock laugh.

“Pensioners deserve to get laid, too.”

“Nope. Don’t need to hear it,” the woman said, reaching her hands up to cover her ears.

“How about both of you shut up, because none of us want to hear it?”

Sylvie Lefebvre turned to look at the miserable Frenchman tailing behind them, her lips forming into a pout as though she’d just been scolded by a parent. Not quite, but he’d certainly become family enough over the past few years to earn an affectionate ‘uncle’ title he’d made no attempt shed.

“Sometimes I forget he speaks English,” she muttered to Laurent under her breath.

“He’s definitely been hitting up Duolingo.”

“You sound like a fucking American. You don’t get to judge anybody, St. Pierre,” Yves shot back.

After a moment of sniggering between the two in front, the looming figure of Varden re-entered the conversation, now free of the phone call he’d been unenthusiastically participating in. Somehow, though, he looked even less pleased to be a part of whatever was happening here.

“Who is she, anyway? You don’t usually dress up this nice,” Laurent said, remaining at Sylvie’s side, but taking their pace back just enough to be in step with the two leaders.

“Ayda Demir.”

Even though Varden’s mouth had opened to speak, it was his daughter’s voice who’d answered.

“Thank you, Sylvie.”

“Wait, what? The Turk?” Laurent couldn’t contain the scoff.

“The Turk,” Yves confirmed, his grimace speaking volumes in spite of his monotonous tone.

“Don’t be rude,” Sylvie cut in, “I’ve done my research, she seems nice enough. I just—”

“Don’t want to imagine your dad getting his dick wet?”

“Will you fucking stop?”

The woman went to shove him again, but he instead threw an arm around her shoulder, dragging her close enough to deny her the momentum.

“If it’s any consolation, Sylvie, it’s definitely not going to be a date. Because in the interest of full disclosure, you should just know that when Leyla and I got dragged to Haringey for that peasant party? She seemed pretty into shoving her tongue down Aviv’s throat.”

And whilst he was pretty openly with Adriana Amaro these days—assuming the number the Organization did on him hadn’t fucked that up—the fact she held any positive sentiments toward the scum at all was enough to seal the deal. Probably not in the way she was hoping for, though…

“It was never a date,” Varden said sternly. “And I’d appreciate if we talked about something else.”

“Anything else,” Yves pleaded.

Everyone present was wise enough to not push when Varden said enough.

“Why are you out with us, anyway? Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“That’s very funny. I could ask you the same. Don’t retirement homes have curfews anymore?”

The two de facto London leaders slipped back into a hushed conversation of their own, leaving the duo ahead to squabble as they continued their way down the packed street. Knightsbridge was busy at the best of times, but tonight seemed impossibly so. People still damn sure cleared a path for the Versace princess and her entourage of suits, though. It was a few days shy of Sylvie’s twenty-third birthday, and as it turned out, she too was headed into South Kensington to meet some of her friends (ones her father didn’t seem to fond of, mind you) at Mistral’s. Laurent was stopping in for a meeting with Yves and a handful of the Hackney crew, Sylvie for her meal, and Varden for…whatever the fuck it was. Thus, along with a handful of security, a herd had formed.

None of them had any idea how poor a decision that would prove to be.

The traffic moved so slowly, it would’ve been impossible to tell they were being followed.

Maybe, had he not been looking right at the woman tucked beneath his arm, he wouldn’t have noticed the car doors abruptly opening on the vehicle beside them.

Three in unison; the same number of masked men soon spilling out into the road, halting traffic to a chorus of car horns and perturbed pedestrians.

“Gun!” Laurent shouted in just about the least useful way to alert the others of the impending disaster. Sure enough, the panicked words sent the crowds around them spiralling into frenzy just in time for said guns to start firing right in their direction.

There was no point trying to hit the deck when they were stood right there.

Sylvie seemed to take a moment to catch up. And then she was screaming, too.

The Frenchman felt a shove from behind as he attempted to manoeuvre her through the crowd, and toward the door of Mistral’s which was just close enough he could try to drag them inside. More gunfire, then... A quick glance back told him Yves and the few members of security present had ducked into a bus shelter, attempting to return the favour without hesitation. Varden on the other hand was the one shoving him forward.  

“Move. Get her inside!”

The man’s fear was evident and harrowing because Laurent had never really been sure Varden was capable of feeling it.

So he turned, putting himself between the direction of the gunmen and Sylvie, as best a shield as he could manage, before attempting to encourage Varden forward to take charge. The people didn’t know where to go. They didn’t know where to hide. Some had clearly already been hit, falling to the ground. Others fell for being shoved past by those whose only concern was getting the fuck out of there. Chaos was an understatement. Impossible to take in over the course of only a few seconds.

Sylvie tripped. Varden pulled her back up and pushed her onward.

Laurent went down right after and after a moment, they slipped out of view.

This wasn’t a few stray bullets. This was a fucking military grade assault where nobody was about to try and be a hero. And as the guns followed him, the white hot realisation he’d gotten hit was clear.

Why the fuck hadn’t he brought his own?

One of the attackers was furiously laying into the façade of the restaurant as though it was his only target. Another, showering anyone unfortunate enough to flee into his path, utterly indiscriminate, like he was in an old school fucking action movie. The third, though? Well he lowered his gun just long enough to shove through some screeching pedestrians and casually wander right over to the Commandant clutching at his bleeding thigh.

Though he attempted to get to his feet, it was a fruitless effort.

The man crouched down slightly. Just close enough that had he not been hiding like a coward behind his mask, Laurent would’ve known for sure, instead of just assuming…

As he stood back up calmly—short, stocky, dead fucking eyes—so too did his gun come back into sight.

There was no time to react. Just acknowledge.

One flash later, everything was gone.

[memberment]

DOES ANYONE WANNA PLAY A GAME??? (This is the post I was just yapping about.)

So we’re playing a game! Perhaps, if anyone wants to play! 

For reference, we have all gotten pretty used to me having one fic per day of the week, with exclusion of Sundays, bc I gen hate posting on Sundays. (I don’t wanna talk about it!<3) 

But. As of more recent months, I’ve shackled myself to behemoth fics that realistically, y’all would be waiting for new shit for millennia if I start posting shit in the order I’m writing it. So that’s just not gonna work! (I also do not want to be shackled to ao3 forever, but I cannot just write shit and leave it to rot in my google docs because I am not evil. Sharing is caring.) 

So without saying any more than that (bc I gotta leave y’all with some mystery), I would like y’all to help me narrow down this list of twenty to ten. (These are all of my open concepts that I’m willing to touch at the moment. There are a few more sprinkled about, but I don’t even wanna think about them rn.) I have listed titles, if I have them (if not, it's noted) and brief either descriptions or yaps. Literally just throw numbers of shit you wanna see or specifically think I should not be working on first at me. Do not care. Whatever floats your boat. <3

-

A Girl and Her Dog - Bebe runs into a lunatic and a dog while trying to complete a task (there’s actually a leak for this in my test fic).

Ca$h4Cultz - The main four accidentally manifest a god after starting a cult. (Again, leaks are in my test fic. This one might not be super long, but whenever I think about it, it makes me laugh really hard.)

Tweek’s Eclipse?? - I don’t have a title for this yet. It is literally Tweek’s story from Eclipse. Including the shit before. I’m not super invested in it yet, but the first chapter I did write kinda hits. There’s leaks for it somewhere in my slew of posts on here.

What Are You? (not sold on this title) - Tweek meets an imp after spending his whole life alone. He doesn’t really care if the imp takes his soul, but for some reason, he can’t. This aggravates the imp to no end so now he’s just dragging Tweek along to figure out exactly why he can’t take Tweek’s soul. (The imp is Craig. I personally think what I have written so far is fucking funny. It’s not gonna be good, but I stand by it.) 

Son Of Satan - Craig meets an imp. Or at least, that’s what the imp’s calling himself. (This is probably gonna be a fun nonsense piece with no legitimate plot and will probably get thrown on the trashfic pseud, but it will be fun. The entire fic is concepted off of one single piece of fanart I saw, if I can find it again, I will gladly share.) 

Untitled mind reader fic - I do not have a set title for this because I’m only two chapters deep. Basically, Tweek has to deal with some shit after someone starts reading his mind and decides to speak up. 

Untitled Horror Duo- Okay, so neither of these have titles yet, but basically, it’s two fics. There is the main story and the prequel. They both line up though in the way that I have the guides structured. These are so old, but I have like 30k between the two of them and I kinda don’t want to just leave that to rot, y’know? The main storyline follows Tweek who just entered high school after being locked away his entire life. He’s possessed by something, making adjusting to normal human life ten times more difficult. But still, he manages to find friends that care about him and want to help him, despite everything. And the prequel actually follows Kenny who’s had some close encounters with the something that’s possessing Tweek in the main story. I think this could be really fun. I remember being very deliberate about weaving these stories together when I was working on it and it was fucking ANNOYING!!! But it might also be really bad (I haven’t touched what I have since around March so I gen don’t know???), so I may assign it to  the trash psued. BUT IT’S AN OPTION!!! 

Three Kings Of Chaos - Chaos Inc. has three leaders. General Disarray, Major Mayhem, and Professor Chaos (of course). But being super villains can be complicated. Especially when their angel donor decides he wants to join in on the fun. (This will realistically probably not be very good. But, I find the concept to be very entertaining.) 

Then We Won’t (I’m not sold on the title) - When a kid gets outcasted for his powers, he makes an unlikely alliance. (This entire fic got concepted around the saying ‘The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’) 

Untitled Civil War Fic - Basically, C&F are all evil. The Freedom Pals are just trying to get their friends back. Just about every ship in this winds up getting thrown in enemies to lovers territory. Except for Butters and Bebe (and I personally think their storyline is fucking hilarious). 

New Beginnings Rewrite - I HAVE VERY LARGE IDEAS FOR THIS. THE OLD ONE IS STILL UP SO I WILL NOT BE ELABORATING.  

Human Island - (no set title) After the world is destroyed, humans are limited to a small chain of islands. But what happens when a scientist threatens to destroy the harmony they’d worked so hard to build? (This is loosely based on something and if someone were to catch it if I were to write and post this, I would lose my fucking shit. Like, I think I would be so happy I would, like, throw up.) 

Vents - (no set title) SOMEONE gets thrown into a psychiatric facility. Involuntarily, of course. They assume they’re just abandoned there to die until someone starts calling out to them through the vents. 

I might actually finish Stalkers (this is not the title but I’ve been referring to it as such since it got concepted). Heads up though. This one is trash. Like out of everything I’ve ever written, this is thee trash. It was actually the precursor for Leap Year in the sense that I wanted to write something problematic for the sake of being problematic. It will be on the trash fic psued. Like, I genuinely find it funny because of how bad it is. But I can’t recommend telling me to work on this, because it genuinely isn’t good and I stand by that. 

My Love Letter To You - There are not one, but two Professor Chaos’ in this story. How fucking wild. Wonder how that happened. This story is basically the set up to them fighting it out and what led them there. (I’ve been eyeing and fiddling with this for a while and if you read my end notes you can prob figure out when I started messing with this concept). 

Untitled Cartman and Kenny FP fic. - Okay, so this was actually one of my first fanfic concepts. Basically, Cartman spends a good amount of time blacked out. When the other Freedom Pals find out, they try to intervene. And of course, Kenny has something to do with it. 

Cntrl: Escape - I think this might genuinely be my favorite out of all of these. A group of people get elected to escape their “perfect” world. (There is a tyrannical ruler and AI involved. Also the opening scene rn is artist Tweek trying not to lose his shit over the AI art contests surrounding his block. I love it. This one’s prob Tweek centric, but there are six(?? I’m not checking my notes. Approximately six???) mains in this.) (There is also a tiny leak of this on my test fic.) 

Untitled Kyle Supersomething Fic - As states. Human Kite’s either gonna be a supervillain or a vigilante who does not fuck with the rules of hero society and does things his own way. Could be fun. Oh also, from the jump I have decided the bad guys (Kyle) win in this. Like, I feel like villains winning is severely lacking and I need to contribute to what I want to read because that is the entire reason I started writing fanfic. 

Untitled Evil Shed Fic - And our favorite gadgeteer superhero is not a superhero anymore. He’s much worse. Stan is irredeemable in this, or at least that’s where it’s taking shape in my head right now. This is prob gonna border on horror if not be straight up horror. I do have plans to make all of the people I really focus on character wise (that isn’t Butters, obviously) have their own villain fic at some point, but rn all I have buzzing around my little idiot brain are Kenny (which is done), Stan, and Kyle’s. (Wendy’s is also starting to take shape in my head, but not enough to concept it out yet.)

New Kid - A small town (South Park, obviously) falls into chaos when an alien stumbles upon them. This is New Kid centric without it actually being New Kid centric. I have been giggling about this concept since the idea graced me back in March when the warm weather first popped around and I heard the song ‘Trailer Park Alien’ for the first time. Which is exactly what this fic is based on. 

[waitingonher]

pjo please!

male!

okay so i’m a very extroverted person, i’m an entp, aquarius and a daughter of hermes! i feel like i talk a lot but alas i’m just a yapper. i’m a very goofy person and i tend to be really clumsy too. i smile a lot, and i make jokes all the time. i have a darker sense of humor but i tend to be a little bit emotional. i have adhd and anxiety and i’m pretty smart, i’m either really tired or really hyper there’s really no in between. i like to randomly dance or randomly sing. my favorite season is autumn and i love road trips and movies. i wanna work on screenplays/direct movies when i’m older! i have medium length faded red hair, blue/green eyes and freckles on my whole face but i have a lot more under my right eye. i’m 5’3” and have an upside down smile (legitimately) and ummmm yeah! 😁

physical touch is my number one love language and then quality time, and words of affirmation are my second and third!

i love skateboarding, listening to music (i listen to like everything except stuff i don’t like 😭😭) i also love flowers and taking walks/nature, i hate the cold tho bc i feel like i’m cold all the time, i love road trips like i said earlier but my favorite hobby/intrest is film. film is my life! i watch so many movies and would love to write one someday, but for now i’m only doing reverse screenplays for practice hehe.

ironically not the cinema because i feel like you can’t talk and get to know each other. i think a walk in the park with coffee or ice cream would be my ideal first date. you can get to know each other and there’s really no effort or money needed!

my TYPE is blondies with blue eyes but i doesn’t really matter to me, they have to be taller than me tho. they have to be funny, and sweet, and takes initiative to do cute things and like be there for me and call me cute names and stuff yk like act like a bf.

thank you!!!! <3

your matchup is . . . jason grace!!

if you and jason had a trope it would definitely be sunshine x grumpy, except jason’s not even grumpy, he’s just on the quieter side lol!

he’s always there to listen to your rants about anything and everything, his focus as sharp as if he were on the battlefield. it could be the stupidest conversation ever, but jason’s still nodding along, as if the soggy pancakes at breakfast were the most important thing in the world. 

jason’s favorite parts about you are your smile and your freckles! 

there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to see that favorite smile of his. the way your eyes light up so beautifully makes him think that you’re somehow related to the sun. because of this, jason subconsciously compares you two to the sun and the moon. whenever he spots little trinkets of the two, he buys it no matter the price or the line in which he has to wait in. couples with matching sun and moon keychains stay together! 

sometimes at night when you two are cuddled up, jason decides he absolutely must kiss every single freckle on your face. his warm hands hold the sides of your face as he peppers millions of kisses across your face. sure, it tickles, but who are you to say no to your boyfriend’s kisses? especially when he tells you that he’ll stop loving you when he’s done counting and kissing all of your freckles (jason’s lost count). 

jason who supports your hobbies with every fiber of his being! if you’re one to be open about your ideas/the screenplays you write, then just know that he’s listening to and reading every single one of them. he loves how creative you are, and him being able to see what your mind can create is one of the many blessings you’ve given him. 

if you were to ask for any feedback (he rarely finds that you even need critique), jason’s very honest about it and he words it in a respectful way. 

random dancing and singing breaks with jason!! 

he might not be the best at either, but he’ll do it because you’re having fun. 

beach dates!!!! 

especially when it’s summer and the sun’s at its hottest, what’s better than taking a trip down to the beach with his favorite person? this may or may not be your favorite summer activity because when jason asks you to put sunscreen on his back, and you can feel his toned muscles as you rub in the product…wow (he also may or not be flexing them purposefully) 

jason who’s never surprised when his closet is completely CLEARED of any and all of his jackets, hoodies, sweaters, etc. 

he never minds though because he loves loves lovesss seeing you in his clothes! 

anyways…yeah you two are endgame!

your second contender was . . . percy jackson!

. . .

author's note: yaaaay first matchup woop woop! i hope you like it <3 thank you for your support!!

[eisforeidolon]

Question: What was your funniest favorite episode and your darkest favorite episode?

Jared: Fuckin' great question. First off, welcome. Funniest? Here's something, I think I know my answer to funniest, but I will say, not funniest while shooting. Like, kind of nerve-wracking while shooting. And I would go to two episodes, French Mistake and Changing Channels. And we had a great time during those episodes, like we had a great time filming those episodes? But it was kind of nerve-wracking because you're like, are we ruining this? Are we gonna ruin the show? Is it gonna be alright, are they gonna still watch us? It's like, okay, let's just make it real. I think French Mistake would probably be my number one because the opportunity to make fun of yourself, on camera, that's gonna last forever? It's pretty fuckin' cool. One of the most heartbreaking or heart-wrenching? Man, I forget the name of this episode. There was an episode later on, and I've talked about this before, but - there have been a few times - well, the finale, the series finale was hard. Not all of it, obviously, there was a lot of fun stuff, but that fucking barn scene was heartbreaking for months leading up to it, 'cause we were in the pandemic. There was an episode prior to that where Jensen and I are standing outside the Impala and Sam is berating Dean for something? And I couldn't remember my lines. And that doesn't happen to me. And not that I'm cool or something like that - [audience discussing] - Prophet and Loss. And it was so difficult because, like - and I'm a professional. I know my job, I take it seriously, I prepare and I go to work and I do it. I give it everything I have. But my brain wouldn't let me find - I felt like I had dementia or something - and I don't mean to make light of dementia, I've had family with it who've passed from it. But I just was like, I don't know what I'm saying right now, I can't fucking remember what I'm supposed to do next. And it was so difficult to get through it, and I kinda realized later that it was because Jared didn't like what Sam was saying? And so it was really difficult to learn. I went home and I cried myself to sleep. And I came home - I came to set the next day? And my eyes wouldn't open. 'Cause I went home and I was like, fucked up, I fucked up, I ruined Sam, I ruined Supernatural, like what's wrong with me? Like I know I did my homework, I've prepped for days, weeks, months, whatever, for hours a day. And I just couldn't do it. And I think I realized - and funny enough, to an earlier question? Sacrifice was like that, for me. With the Sam and Dean bit of, like, you know what I asked for forgiveness for in there was letting you down. Like who do you go to next, another vampire? You know? It was so difficult to get out, that - like, there was a disconnect? Like my own body's self preservation mode that I don't know where it exists, like kicked in. Don't say that shit, don't say it. That ain't gonna feel good, you're not gonna like that. So I would say those two sequences in Sacrifice and Prophet and Loss were, in hindsight - at the time I didn't know! You go to work, you're like I know my lines, I can say all the words right now. And then you get in the scene, you're doing it and you're like, why is this so hard? Why am I not rem- I know I did my preparation. So those two would be the most difficult.

Jared: But yeah, French Mistake, and then Changing Channels like, [does the voice] Nutcracker!!! Which was, by the way, terrifying. That was probably my scariest because the machine legitimately - and it was, when we were there, they put you in these, like, ski boots. They have redone ski boots? So you're in and then they lock you in, and the fuckin' ball on the stick was a legit ball on a stick that went like this [mimes ball movement and makes noise]. And so they sat me there and they're like, okay, you see this X mark on the thing? You're like yeah yeah, I see it. And you're locked in, they're like okay, don't let your hips go past that. Like, [incredulous expression] I'm sorry? So if I'm here [mimes moving hips forward], I'm getting hit in the nuts. [moves hips back] If I'm here, I'm okay. And so I was like, I think the first take we did, they're like, okay, we're gonna go ahead and do the stunt. Which I didn't get hit, it just looked like it. But I think I was like, okay, so the X mark? And they're like, yeah. And I was like, okay [pushes hips way back], I'm ready! And they were like, you look really weird right now. And I was like, no, I feel good, I feel good. And so I finally had to go, and I think the first one, as soon as I knew, it was like three, two, one, I was gonna get hit? I go [makes pained face and leans back]. And they're like, Jared, listen, we're hoping not to hit you, we need you to hold a straight face until the machine does that thing. And I was like [high pitched voice] Okay, I got it. So that was probably the most physical danger I felt I was gonna be in.

[beatledumpster]

i’d love to know the ins and outs of damon’s involvement in elastica’s songwriting. i definitely don’t want to believe he was some kind of lone mastermind behind it all. i don’t even think his playing on the tracks must have mattered much. but he probably made significant contributions to the writing. i don’t like the idea that he did so because justine couldn’t. knowing how he likes to be in charge while justine seems pretty laid-back and open in comparison, it may have just been her openness that gave him space to contribute a lot (maybe too much for her own good in the end). she was probably okay with it or even grateful for his contributions in the moment. i wonder how he saw his own place in the band: as a legitimate founding member, a producer, an ephemeral helping hand? officially, the elastica documentary points to the latter interpretation. did he get kind of kicked out after a while because he didn’t fit in? or did he always know he was just there as an extra and wasn’t really supposed to be part of the band? did he actually keep hanging out in the studio when annie and donna had completed the lineup or did he only leave his mark in early demos/sessions with justine and justin? was he just there, just another band member, or did he really do most of the work of figuring the songs out? did justine and damon work as a secret songwriting duo? was he adopting his kind of pedagogical attitude where he was giving advice and showing how to build a song to the other musicians there? was it actually useful or merely patronising? to what extent? was his main contribution, just like in blur or often gorillaz, giving a demo before letting the others flesh his sketch out? that’s what i’m picturing: that’s his job, his strength - he must have had so many demos lying around that justine just agreed to pick some stuff from it to play with.

anyway, damon and the band must have agreed afterwards not to credit him too much to avoid talks of brilliant famous boyfriend behind untalented helpless girlfriend, but it meant her only source of reputation could be threatened by this rotten secret debt at the core of those sessions… well they couldn’t have predicted this danger since they probably thought they wouldn’t split up and damon wouldn’t be tempted to discredit her that way.

there’s still this ambiguity which i despise in damon’s hints about this. even if he can’t/prefers not to reveal how much he was involved, he’s kind of playing with it and that shows a dark side. if he hasn’t written most of it, then he shouldn’t imply that. then again his ego might see it that way. and we don’t know whether there’s actual truth in it or it’s a grayer area of musical collaboration and things left unsaid between an enthusiastic helper and a laid-back person who received the help. which is what i’m sensing, but can’t prove obviously.

what we know may only be a small part of what he actually did for the band. we know that damon provided his demo ‘beached whale’ which became ‘spastica’. and he played keyboards on a number of elastica tracks. and he played the synthesiser riff of ‘connection’…. but did he write more of it than that, or was it just this riff? it’s not clear at all from the zane lowe interview: he says he ‘did’ the riff (wrote? played?) but then says the machine ‘is’ connection, implying the whole song comes from his machine… anyway, whether he was the one who ripped the riff off wire or justine doesn’t really matter, it’s still plagiarism! that’s the funny thing about it. i guess they agreed on this, maybe they both came up with the idea of basing elastica songs on wire songs. but if you take the ‘mastermind’ narrative that gives full credit to damon and barely recognises any real input from justine (which i don’t believe at all), that would mean his ‘gift’ was, in part, more of a curse than a blessing, like he should be proud to have made his girlfriend’s album a rip-off album without her being aware of it? lol.

but yeah, there’ll always be this uncomfortable weirdness about elastica’s history and his tall shadow as someone famous and influential, often portrayed as a genius musical polymath in the media. which is a bit unfair, there’s clearly an imbalance there.

one could argue that it’s unfair he wasn’t credited if he contributed as much as he’s been implying he has, but he should just let it go instead of being thirsty for recognition decades later at the risk of creating some harmful rehashed media turmoil, shouldn’t he? i’d rather hear a testimony from someone who wouldn’t be too biased towards one or the other camp, saying what damon’s real contributions were, and the two main protagonists should remain graceful and silent about it.

[tyrannuspitch]

okay okay aos asgard thoughts.

episode 8:

number one confusing thing to get out of the way - i knowww it's just reminding the audience of some exposition, but skye's comment in the opening scene seems to suggest that like... it isn't common knowledge... that asgardians are aliens? what else do people think they are??? like i know they know the chitauri are aliens. they know loki wasn't summoning ghosts or demons in new york. but they look at loki himself and they're like sure you can be a fundamental force of nature i guess? and you can still get beaten up by a guy on steroids??

ANYWAY. the berserker staff is an interesting artefact! it's a very self-destructive mechanism - i know they don't quite present it this way, but if you take it at all literally and accept that the added strength comes from the rage and adrenaline the staff causes... in real life, that additional strength comes from pushing past your limits, right? pushing through pain and mental blocks that are there for good reason? even asgardians have those, and even with asgardian healing, making a career out of getting those injuries is not going to be great for you. it's not as bad as the dark elves and the kursed, but it's getting up there. but 1000 years ago was a time of major changes for asgard - conquest of jotunheim, end of the valkyries... - so i wonder if asgard still has berserkers either. either way, it is very telling that the berserkers recruit from ordinary people, and not the nobility.

when randolph isn't being a creep, i like him. he's funny! he's kind of mean! it's refreshing to meet an ordinary asgardian! i also enjoy how (iirc) he conspicuously doesn't mention why he, an asgardian soldier, was sent to earth to begin with, and no-one asks him. how do they keep getting away with this!!!

i can't quite work out what's going on with the "paganist" group. (if there's even a reason for that -ist?) they seem to revere the inanimate powers of asgard, but hate asgardians themselves and fear that asgardians are trying to reassert power over humanity? which makes them like... the very rough pagan equivalent of satanists? "we recognise these gods, but we don't see their power as legitimate." which is an interesting angle to take for social fallout of loki's shenanigans... but still, it does feel a bit status-quoy, somehow. personally i would be more concerned about the standard asatru groups who think they're the gods' favourites etc etc. asgardian power IS sinister. if we were in a thor movie we wld understand this.

episode 15:

sif's characterisation is interesting! this is the most screentime she's had in anything (it might actually add up to more than all her other screentime) but she spends all of it in mission/crisis mode, so it's a very particular side of her. an interesting mix of formal, grave, blunt and dramatic. there's definitely an edge of warrior entitlement to it, but also, like... she clearly isn't nearly as comfortable in that entitlement as, say, thor. even when thor was in evil-dead-brother crisis in the avengers, he didn't read as stiff in the way sif does here. potentially because she isn't familiar with midgard, and/or doesn't want/enjoy mortals' attention? or just because sif has had to fight for status (esp military status) in a way thor has not, so she holds onto it a little too tight...

i'm not sure how i feel about lorelei. i suppose it makes sense for her to want an army if she wants to stay free when asgard are looking for her, so motive isn't a huge concern, but still... as it stands, she doesn't really interest me as a character. but i will say that her prison sounds pretty nightmarish. odin is good at that.

also quite funny to think that shield was in fact unknowingly working with loki at this point. top five things for thor to never ever tell them <3

[xjoonchildx]

greedy | myg x reader | chapter one: you like milkshakes?

summary: being a loner has never bothered yoongi until now.  until you.

pairing: yoongi x reader

genre: mafia AU, pining, eventual smut

rating: 18+

word count: 4.3K

notes: confession, i am struggling these days with my insane attraction to min yoongi.  this guy has it all.  looks and talent and mystery and sweetness -- he’s the total package. so i really wanted to give him a story in this AU that i’ve come to love so much and i truly hope you guys enjoy it.  

i also hope you guys know how much i appreciate every single one of you. i see your reblogs and comments and likes and i try to answer every one because it truly makes my day.  you guys make my day.

i could not post this fic without shouting out the amazing @hobi-gif because honestly, if hope didn’t read it, did i even write it? and i’m sending major love to three people who are such a source of laughter and support for me, @ladyartemesia​ @ppersonna @taetaewonderland. you guys keep me in stitches.

this fic is a continuation of the Guarded Series but can be read as a standalone piece! Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

*************************

Yoongi had fucked up.

He’d misread the massive man’s approach, tracking him in one direction when the guy was actually headed in another.  That’s how the asshole managed to catch Yoongi off guard with one meaty fist to the face. 

It didn’t matter that it was hundreds of pounds of fat -- not muscle -- behind that punch.  It was wielding more than enough momentum to blow up the side of Yoongi’s face like a bomb. 

That’s the night he landed in the ER at Songdo at nearly two in the morning, pressing gauze to his bleeding face.  

That’s the night he found himself chuckling inside an empty exam room, reading triage paperwork that made him sound like some kind of war hero instead of just an idiot who got caught looking the wrong way.

That’s the night he met you.

“Rough evening, Mister Yun?” 

Yoongi had looked up from the floor just as you’d breezed into the room, tablet in hand.  That moment marked the second time he’d been caught off guard that night.

“That looks like it hurts,” you’d murmured sympathetically, eyes raking over the bloody mess on his face.  Your gaze was clinical -- professional -- as you assessed his grossly swollen eye and the half dozen bleeding cuts that surrounded it.  

But then you’d stopped looking at him -- and stepped back to really look at him.  

Yoongi had taken one look at your enormous, dark eyes and your soft, sweet face and he was dumbstruck.  He’d blinked back at you with the only eye that could still move.  

“You’re a doctor?”

“Nope,” you’d replied casually, turning to reach for a pair of latex gloves. “I’m a janitor. But I’ve always wanted to give this medicine thing a try. You don’t mind, right?”  

Your eyes had sparkled then, bright with humor -- and Yoongi couldn’t help but grin despite the pain pulsing from the left side of his face.

“Here’s the deal, Mister Yun,” you’d said, pulling on your gloves.  “I’m a resident.  And I’m more than qualified to handle the -- situation -- on your face, but if you feel more comfortable waiting for the attending, I’m happy to step back.  Good luck seeing him before sunrise, though.”

“Nah,” Yoongi had chuckled.  “I think I’ll take my chances with you.”

“Good call.”

You’d leaned in close after that, gloved fingers firm under his chin as you turned his face from side to side.  You’d smelled fucking amazing.  The light, fresh scent that lingered on your skin sure as hell beat the disinfectant odor in this place.

“What happened to you tonight, Mister Yun?”

“It’s a funny story, actually.”

“Oh, great,” you’d said dryly.  “‘Cause it turns out, I love funny stories.”

Yoongi had flinched when you’d peeled the gauze back, exposing the angry wounds to the air.  But he’d forced himself to sit dutifully still as you got to work cleaning the caked blood off his face and eye.

“Thing is, I work for the circus,” he’d started, hissing under his breath when you swiped across an open cut above his eye.  “One of the elephants got rowdy while we were practicing a number tonight and just kicked me right in the face.”

You’d stopped dabbing at his eye then, one brow raised and a cynical slant to your mouth.

Yoongi liked that you knew he was full of shit right away. 

He liked that you’d played along anyway.

“God, I hate when that happens,” you’d said with feigned outrage, cutting your eyes at him as you dropped a piece of bloody gauze on the tray at his side.  

“I know, right?”

That’s when Yoongi had won a real smile from you, wide and genuine.  That's when Yoongi made the mistake of looking at you for just a moment too long.  

He knew it by the way your smile fell away as you cleared your throat and turned your focus back to his damaged face.

“Well, I have good news for you Mister Yun,” you’d said after a while, eyes scanning the freshly cleaned wounds.  You’d run your gloved fingers gently over one particularly deep slash over his eye and Yoongi felt a shudder run up his back.  “I’m pretty sure you’re going to live.”

“Well, that is good news.”

There was that smile again.  

It seemed like no time at all before you had him all patched up -- cuts sanitized and sealed with skin adhesive; swollen eye cleaned and medicated.  Yoongi had felt a strange kind of disappointment as he’d watched you gather your supplies, pull your gloves off and drop them in the trash can near the door.

“You’re all set, Mister Yun,” you’d murmured. “Watch out for those elephants, okay? I’d hate for them to ruin a perfectly nice face.”

Then you were gone.

***************************

Thing is -- Kim Namjoon is a rules guy.

It doesn’t matter that he runs a criminal organization -- or that the men in his employ are gangsters in custom ties and suits.  He expects dirty work done clean because that’s what sets the Gajog apart.

Rotate hospitals.  Use fake names.  Pay in cash.

All of those protocols are in place to keep any one of the Gajog from drawing unwanted attention.  Truthfully, Namjoon’s operations usually run so neatly his men rarely have to seek treatment for anything beyond the occasional black eye or broken bone.  That’s why he’d rather trust his men to legitimate doctors in legitimate hospitals than hand them over to some back-alley hack.

Thing is -- shit has gotten a lot more heated of late.  

An audit of the Gajog books has turned up millions in missing won, stolen over time by street-level guys all over the city.  Yoongi and Hoseok are the ones on the front lines, tasked with confronting those men -- getting them to pay and getting them back in line.

Sometimes they play ball.  Sometimes they don’t.

Tonight is one of those nights.

Yoongi knew the moment they arrived at the crumbling warehouse in the Nowon district that shit was probably going to get messy.  Their contact was fucked up -- sloppy drunk -- and belligerent from the jump.

After that, everything was a blur.

At some point during the scuffle, Yoongi heard his hand crunch under the heavy weight of the man’s steel-toed boot. The pain was still flaring hot from his knuckles when Hoseok finally took the guy down.  

Right now Yoongi should be at Asan or Gachon or any of the other half-dozen hospitals in the city.  He should have dragged his tired ass and bloody hand across town because those are the rules.

But instead -- for the second time in a month -- he’s sitting under the sickly fluorescent lights in an empty exam room at Songdo at nearly three in the morning.

Hoping to see you. 

*************************

Yoongi is gingerly flexing his aching fingers when a light knock sounds at the door.

It was a long shot that you’d be here tonight -- and an even longer shot that you’d be the one treating him. But when the door to the exam room opens, it’s you on the other side.

Yoongi’s pulse picks up in response.

“Sorry to keep you waiting tonight Mister -- ”  you stop dead in your tracks, eyes wide on his before darting back down the tablet in your hand.  You scan the screen slowly then look back up, gaze critical.

“ -- Mister Woo.”

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi replies casually.  “It’s no problem.”

You approach him slowly then, disbelief etched into your delicate features and Yoongi takes in every detail.

It’s like he’d forgotten how pretty you are since the last time he saw you.

You’re nothing like the flashy women who like to hang around the usual Gajog haunts.  You’re the kind of pretty that doesn’t cost hundreds of thousands of won a month to maintain.  The kind of pretty that doesn’t come off at the end of the night. 

Yoongi swallows thickly as you eye him, lips parted like you’re about to fire off a hundred different questions.  But you don’t.  

You play along.  

Again.

“Right.  Let’s get to it then, Mister Woo,” you say carefully, slipping on your gloves.  “What happened to your hand?”

“Well, you see, I’m a hot air balloon operator.”  

His mouth quirks into a smile and your eyes flash in response.  

“Wind was nuts today and the basket came down on my hand.  I think I might have broken something.”

“Hmm,” you murmur.  “Hot air balloon operator, huh?”

Yoongi winces when you take his hand between your gloved ones, gently applying pressure to each knuckle.

“Yeah.”

“That’s an interesting way to make a living, Mister Woo.”

Yoongi chokes down a groan when you press against one particularly sore spot.  You back off the pressure, turning to make a note on your chart.

“Well, I’m an interesting guy,” he whispers.  

You look up at him then, dark eyes focused and intense.  

“That you are.”

You’re looking at Yoongi like you can see inside him and the scrutiny makes him squirm.  He lowers his eyes to the floor and keeps quiet while you clean his hand and apply ointment to his cuts.

“Mister Woo, it looks like most of these are surface abrasions, but the knuckles concern me.  I’m going to have to send you for an X-ray.”

“Yeah, okay.  It hurts like hell.”

“I bet it does,” you say quietly, typing into your tablet.  “Someone is going to come and take you back when they’re ready.  I have to go check on some other patients, but I’ll be back when we have some images to go over.”

“Sure,” Yoongi breathes.

You take another long look at him before standing to leave and Yoongi wonders for a moment if he’s made a mistake. Maybe he’s misread you like he misread that brawler who caught him with the nasty punch all those weeks ago.  

You could be off to flag a security guard.  Or leaving to call the police.

He really should have just followed protocol.

Yoongi sits in the quiet of that exam room waiting -- ready -- for trouble that never comes.  Because when a knock finally sounds at the door, it’s not the Korean National Police.  

It’s the X-ray technician.

Maybe he didn’t misread you after all.

*********************

It takes hours for you to come back.

“Mixed news tonight, Mister Woo,” you say upon your return.  “You have hairline fractures in three of your knuckles, which explains the pain.  Unfortunately, that means I’m not going to be able to do much for you beyond wrapping your hand.”

Yoongi nods.  “Got it.”

“And you should probably lay off the ballooning for a while,” you say under your breath as you lay out your bandages.  “Just a suggestion.”

“Good idea,” Yoongi chuckles.  “Safety first.”

You fix him with another one of those long, indecipherable looks before getting to work on his hand.  But you don’t say anything and the longer the silence stretches on, the antsier Yoongi feels.

“So…” he exhales, clearing his throat, “... you like milkshakes?”

“Everyone likes milkshakes,” you return evenly.  You don’t take your eyes off his hand or the flexible material you’re carefully wrapping around his sore knuckles. 

“Lactose intolerant people don’t like milkshakes.”

“Lactose intolerant people like milkshakes as much as the rest of us,” you argue.  “They just can’t tolerate them.”

“What are you, some kind of doctor?”

Your lips quirk with the threat of a laugh you manage to suppress but Yoongi catches the expression before it disappears.  You seem to relax after that.  He does, too.

“Dijeoteu has the best milkshakes in the city.  Ever been there?”

“Can’t say that I have,” you admit, taping off a bandage.  

“It’s not far from here.  Open twenty-four hours.  I hang out there sometimes.”

“So you’re a milkshake-drinking hot-air balloon enthusiast,” you murmur, inspecting your handiwork closely.  “Anything else I should know about you, Mister Woo?’

Yoongi scratches the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Not really.  That about covers it.”

You hum thoughtfully under your breath as you finish wrapping the bruised knuckles.

“All done.  How does it feel?”

“Better,” Yoongi admits.  “Thanks.”

You gaze at him then, thoughtful -- expression soft with something that looks almost like concern.  Yoongi drops his gaze down to his bandaged hand.

This is the part where you’ve finished -- the part where you leave.  

This is the part where he should say something to you but he has no idea what or how.

“I would say come back soon, but this is a hospital and that seems wildly inappropriate,” you announce, voice breaking clear through his stupor.

You turn back to him just as you’re walking towards the door, and for a moment Yoongi thinks you’re going to give in and ask him any one of the dozens of questions that must be swirling around your mind.

But you don’t.

“Try to take care of that hand, Mister Woo.”

Yoongi nods.

“Thanks, Doc.”

**********************

YOU

Doctor Lee is on his Houdini shit tonight, apparently.

The ER is packed -- waiting room crowded with crabby patients -- and you are, once again, running yourself ragged to get to every last one.  Lee is, once again, nowhere to be found.

“Page him again,” you call out as you pass the charge nurse outside an exam room.  

A quick scan of your tablet confirms the toddler behind this magic door has been vomiting all night.  You shut your eyes and wish a slow, violent death on your absent attending.  Vomit is the single worst phenomenon in medicine.

“I’ve paged him three times,” Nurse Ko calls back.

“Page him again,” you repeat, forcing a smile and pushing into the room.

Thirty minutes and one change of scrubs later you are checking charts on the next patient in line.  You pat the pocket of your new scrubs and realize you’ve left a half-eaten energy bar around here somewhere.  

No chance you’ll get that back.

Lee picks this moment to reappear, back from doing God knows what.  He strolls down the hallway like a man with nothing on his to-do list.

“You paged for me?” he inquires casually.

“A few times, actually,” you mutter.  “I’m getting killed out here.”

“Relax,” Lee purrs, condescension dripping from his tone.  “We’ll get it done.”

You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from firing back the half-dozen nasty responses that spring to mind. There is no we when it comes to Doctor Lee.  He’s always been flighty and inconsistent, but these days he’s practically a missing person.  You’re still not sure how hospital management hasn’t figured out that he’s making his resident run the overnight ER.

“There’s a guy down the hall who says he swallowed a magnet,” you say, waving a hand in that direction.  “If you can pick him up I can get to this head trauma.”

Lee sighs like it’s a major inconvenience that you’ve asked him to do his job.

“Yeah, I’ll grab it.”

***********************

It’s nearly four in the morning by the time you have a chance to catch your breath.

You walk out to scan the waiting area and to your relief, there are only a handful of patients yet to be seen.  Then your eyes land on one young man -- slumped into a chair in an oversized coat, hat pulled low over his eyes.

You freeze.  

The man in the chair must feel your stare from across the room because he straightens, giving you a better look at the face hidden under the brim of his hat.  You let go of a breath you don’t realize you’ve been holding.

It’s not him.  

It’s not the mysterious man with the fake names and the bogus stories and the insanely handsome face. You shake your head as you look back down at your tablet, silently chastising yourself for even entertaining the thought.  

You shouldn’t still be thinking about this guy and you know it.

But it’s driving you nuts that you can’t figure him out.

He’s never tried to play you for pills and that seems to be the only thing people lie about these days. But if his problem isn’t drugs it’s certainly something because no one lands in the hospital that many times, with that many phoney stories unless they’re up to no good.

So you ignore the nonsensical disappointment you feel when the guy in that chair is not the guy. 

Because deep down you know he’s either in trouble -- or he is trouble.

***********************

Your pager goes off for a second time and you silence the alert, tossing it onto a nearby blanket.

It’s not like you’re hiding out in here -- not really. 

It’s just that you’ve already had one patient cough up blood on your sneakers and another swing at you when you refused to give him narcotics, so this night is off to a spectacularly bad start.

Besides, Doctor Lee could use a taste of his own medicine.  

This week has been the worst, by far.  You’ve been seeing at least three patients to his every one and you’re exhausted.  If there’s any justice, he’s walking into the exam room where the infant with explosive diarrhea is waiting to be seen -- you check your watch -- right about now.

The door to the linen closet cracks open and you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

“What, you thought I didn’t know about your little hiding place?”  Nurse Ko asks with a grin.  “I find everyone’s hiding place, eventually.”

“Haven’t found Lee’s yet,” you gripe. 

“Yeah, well he’s sneakier,” she laughs.  “Here, I brought you something.”  

She tosses a granola bar at you and it lands in your lap.  

“Thanks,” you sigh, ripping it open.  You take a bite and Ko leans against the doorframe.

“I don’t page you for my health, you know.”

“I know,” you whine around a mouthful of dried oats.  “I just needed five minutes.”

“Well, I’ve got a guy out here who says he’ll only see you.  Doesn’t want Doctor Lee and says he’ll wait as long as it takes.”

A piece of the granola bar lodges in your throat and you cough around it, spluttering while Ko looks on, amused.  She waits for you to collect yourself.

“Is he -- ”

“ -- hot? Yes. Very,” Ko smiles.  

Your cheeks flame with embarrassment at both the observation and the fact that it’s coming from a woman in her sixties.

“I was going to say young,” you grumble, standing and dusting your hands off with a towel.

“That, too.  Come to think of it, I know I’ve seen him here before.  You have some kind of admirer, jagiya?”

You flush.

**************************

“Good evening, Mister Kim.”

You hope the air of nonchalance you affect when you enter the exam room is enough to mask your jitters.  

Your mystery patient looks back at you with those dark eyes and a half-smirk that makes your heart trip in your chest.  You take a steadying breath as you look down at your tablet.

Get it together, girl.

“What brings you in tonight?” you inquire lightly.  “Sword-swallowing accident?  Lose a fist fight with a bear?”

Your mysterious patient chuckles under his breath.  

“Where would you get a couple of outlandish ideas like that, Doc?”

You look up at him just as the teasing smirk on his face becomes a full smile and heat blooms in your chest and face.  You force yourself to tear your gaze away.

“I dislocated my shoulder.  Did you know I work air traffic control at Incheon?”

You shake your head with amused weariness as you make notes on your tablet.

“Crazy night.  One of the planes nearly slid off the runway and I threw my shoulder out trying to get it back on track.”

“Did you save it?”

“Saved it and all 227 people on board.”

“Bravo, Mister Kim.” 

“Just doing my job,” he shrugs.  

You set your tablet down on the exam table with a thump, eyeing him as you reach for a pair of gloves.

“The charge nurse says you asked for me.”

“I did,” he admits.  “You never told me what your favorite kind of milkshake is.”

You cock your head to the side as you look at him.  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Mister Kim,” you murmur, feigning ignorance. “According to my records this is the first time I’ve ever seen you.”

“Oh, yeah.  Right,” he chuckles.  

“You need some help getting undressed?”

“Yeah,” he admits, slipping one arm out of his leather jacket.  You lean in to help him pull the other side off, compelling yourself to ignore the way he smells like soap and sweat and man when you’re this close.

“It’s strawberry.”

You blurt the words out, anxious to give your brain a task that doesn’t involve analyzing this man’s smell.  Something about the mischievous twist to his mouth tells you he knows you’re flustered by his nearness.  

“I would have guessed chocolate,” he muses, reaching one hand down to grab the hem of his shirt. He drags it up his abdomen and you will your eyes to stay on his face -- refusing to give him any indication that you have more than a clinical interest in what lies underneath.

“Everyone likes chocolate,” you argue, taking over when he can’t get the shirt up any higher.  You push it over his head and carefully work it off his shoulder.  “I don’t want to be like everyone else.”

“Mission accomplished, Doc.”

He gazes at you then -- chest bare and eyes sharp beneath those inky lashes --  and you feel a bolt of awareness run the length of your spine. You pray the heat you suddenly feel all over your body is not manifesting in damning spots of color on your face.  

You remind yourself to get back to work. 

He sucks a breath between his teeth when you press gently against the inflamed muscle and tissue.

“My shoulder’s been shit for years,” he confesses.  “I screwed it up when I was a kid and it hasn’t been the same since.”

“So this happens to you from time to time?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then I’m going to have to refer you for an MRI,” you say, and he groans when you press into his shoulder again.  “There could be a lot of scar tissue in here, but I won’t be able to know what’s going on until we get some clear scans.”

Your eyes flick back to his.  

Every word that’s ever come out of this man’s mouth is a lie -- but there’s something that feels honest about the way he’s looking at you right now.  Something that makes you feel seasick, unsteady.

“Turn to the side for me,” you say quietly, and the thin paper that lines the exam table rustles as he complies.  The relief you feel when he pivots away from you with those eyes and that look is whole-bodied.  

“For now, the best I can do is probably pop -- “

Your words trail off as your eyes lock on a wound that sits just a few inches from his spine, just above the line of his jeans.  The edges are white and soft with age -- the area long-healed -- but the trauma is unmistakable.  

Textbook.  

The anger you feel as you stare at the wound doesn’t make any sense.  

But you feel it anyway.

“Is it still inside of you, or did they pull it out?”

“What -- ”

“-- The bullet Mister Kim,” you interrupt sharply.  “If it’s still in you, I promise it will come out the second they load you into an MRI machine.  The hard way.”

The muscles of his back flex as he stiffens.  Tension bleeds into the lines of his body and into his voice when he finally speaks.

“It’s out.”

Neither of you says another word.

The room feels hollow now, painfully quiet without talk of elephants or hot air balloons or milkshakes.  The two of you work together silently to crack his abused shoulder back into place.  Somehow he manages to endure that pain without making a sound.

In the end, it’s you that has to speak first.

“That should hold you for now,” you say tightly, standing to toss your gloves in the trash.   You grab your tablet to make notes.

“You mad at me, Doc?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you mutter, fingers flying over your screen.  “I don’t even know you.”

“Then why does it feel like you’re mad at me?”

You tear your eyes away from the screen to find his.  

There’s no teasing or humor there anymore.  He looks boyish and unsure like this, peering back at you with somber eyes from beneath long black bangs that have fallen into his face.

“No more stories, no more bullshit.  Tell me who you are.”

The words are out of your mouth before you can think better of them -- before you can consider how stupid it is to interrogate a complete stranger with a now confirmed history of violence.  Before you can consider that you have no right to the anger that now streaks white-hot through your veins.

“I can’t,” he breathes quietly.  “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head in disgust.

“Are you dangerous?”

Before he even speaks, you get your answer.  You get it in the way color erupts across the bridge of his nose and cheeks.  The way he looks away from you and down to his hands.

“I guess that depends on who you ask,” he whispers.

“I’m asking you,” you fire back.

He doesn’t answer.

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, waiting for him to say something in his defense. Waiting for him to pull another gag and tell just one more ridiculous story.  But the seconds tick by and he says nothing.

“A nurse is going to come by with a sling. She’ll help you get dressed, too,” you say tightly, walking to the door.

You don’t know why your heart feels like it seizes in your chest when you turn to give him one more look.

“Take care of yourself, Mister Kim,” you say quietly.  “And don’t come back.”

*****************************

Glossary:

Dijeoteu: dessert

Jagiya: sweetie, sweetheart

*****************************

Tag List!

@heroesfan101 @kpop-saved-ruinedme @mono-kookie @ctvrty @bluewhale52 @thenopekid @uhgood-dooghu @youwannabelostandnotbefound @yiyi4657 @daydreambrliever @mstbeautifulmmt @darktsuki0 @mademysongtakeflight @fireflyinsummer @paperpurple @btseditsworld @outrofenty @taestannie​ @yeojaa​ @sahmfanficbts​ @snackhobi​

[emmikay]

Emmikay’s CATS Field Notes

Okay, I finally got everything typed up!

First I want to say that I’m so happy that I got see the show! The cast did an amazing job, and it looked like they were having fun. I hope they were, the audience loved them. It was absolutely worth both the wait, and the stress of getting there. 

These are my thoughts on the individual songs, and fun moments I noticed during them! I tried to write these out as clearly as possible. And I know there’s probably so much that I missed in the background, but this is what stood out to me!

Act One

Opening

The opening was a lot of fun. I did spend some of the time pinning down who everyone was, but it was a lot of fun picking them out of the crowd. It actually took me awhile to find Tugger/ Bill Bailey.

I also feel sorry for the person in the seat they picked out for ‘the man over there’. Maybe they had already seen CATS, but I think if it were me, I’d still be scared. They made it sound very accusatory as well, which I found pretty funny. ‘The Naming of Cats’ was still appropriately creepy. I think one of the ladies in front me had never seen CATS, because she turned to friend as asked “What is happening?” It was too bad they couldn’t go into the isles during this tour, but I still enjoyed the eyes appearing on stage during the overture.

Jennyanydots, the Old Gumbie Cat

Jenny seemed really sweet, and was acting with a lot of energy. The whole number was very cute as a whole. I noticed that Skimbleshanks brought out the mouse masks, called over the mice, who I think were Victoria, Sillabub and Rumpleteazer, and handed out their masks. The cockroaches were Tumblebrutus, Pouncival and either Plato or Mungojerrie, but I’m not sure which. Both the mice and cockroaches stayed on stage for quite a bit of the number.

Another very cute thing I noticed, is that Misto was helping Jenny out a lot during her number, guiding her around, helping her sit down and get back up when she was in the first costume. There was also a moment where Jenny seemed to space out, and Misto was trying to gentling get her attention again.

Throughout the entire musical, it seemed like Misto was trying to help out and be as useful as possible. I interpreted it as Misto trying to prove he’s a mature adult now, who should be taken Seriously.

The Rum Tum Tugger

Tugger! Zach Bravo was delightful, of course. He’s just so much fun to watch. The whole number was very fun. I’m pretty sure Tugger flirted with most of the cats on stage in one way or another, other than Munkustrap, who he was definitely trying his best to annoy, as any little brother would do. I noticed Munkustrap and Alonzo plotting by the car just before they did the ‘Terrible Bore’ line.

There were a lot of cute moments between Tugger and Misto as well. At the start of the number, Misto and Skimbleshanks were sitting of the car together. Skimbleshanks seemed to smooth down Misto’s white neck fluff, before Misto joined the dancing. My friend and I agreed that it had very strong ‘Dad straightening his son’s tie before he goes on a date’ vibes. Tugger and Misto had great chemistry, which made the added choreography of them dancing together very fun to watch.

After Misto made the spotlights for Tugger, he crawled through Tugger’s legs. Tugger was pelvic thrusting while he was doing this, and if that’s not symbolism, I don’t know what it was.

Do to the lack of kitten characters in this production, most of the female characters were in the ‘squealing circle’ at the end, including Demeter and Cassandra. Misto was also part of it.

Grizabella the Glamour Cat

I’ve made my feeling about post-revival Grizabella known, so I won’t repeat them. That being said, Tayler Harris did a really good job, and I felt legitimately sorry for Grizabella. In this show, Jenny seemed to take the leading role in shooing the kittens, and everyone else away from Grizabella. Jellylorum helped out a bit, but it was mainly Jenny. Tumblebrutus and Pouncival both bullied Grizabella quite a bit and had to be shooed away.

In this show, Munkustrap was being played by Taylor James Rosenberger. He did a really good job, and had a really nice voice. One thing I noticed is that he plays Munkustrap as being very aggressive towards Grizabella. While other Munkustraps have seemed sad or resigned towards her, it was clear that he actively disliked her. It was actually an interesting twist, because usually it’s Tugger who really dislikes her, but in this show it was almost like the roles reversed.

Bustopher Jones, the Cat about Town

Bustopher Jones was quite a bit of fun, he was played as a very jolly, good natured guy. It seemed like he was very much enjoying entertaining all the cats, and all the attention they were giving him. I actually really like the part where several of the characters, I believe it was Munkustrap, Alonzo, Skimbleshanks, Mistoffelees, Victoria, and someone else who I can’t remember start offering food for him to try. I also noticed an interesting moment where at the beginning of the song, Tugger is lounging on the car, and he and Demeter seem to a have a little chat before Demeter goes to join the dancing.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were pretty good. I read their interactions as best friends rather than siblings or in a relationship, which was fun to watch. In the show, Bustopher Jones doesn’t say his “Toodle-pip” until after Jerrie and Teazer scare everyone,then immediately ran off.

I will say, this is probably the number that entertained me the least. It may just be that I was spoiled watching the 1998 version, but there weren’t a lot of the acrobatics and more entertaining dancing that previous shows have had. The actors themselves did a great job, though. Also, at the end, it was Munkustrap and Plato that hold up their loot bags instead of Alonzo.

Old Deuteronomy

This was a very sweet number, as it should be! Old Deuteronomy seemed like a very warm and happy character, and all of the cats seemed very happy and excited to see him. As I said earlier, Munkustrap had a very nice voice, and did a really good job with this number. And it was very cute when Munkustrap and Tugger started singing together. Tugger had been annoying Munkustrap since his number, so Munk seemed relieved that Tugger was actually acting on his best behaviour for once. Of course, as soon as Old Deuteronomy appeared on stage, Tugger did his mane shimmy, but Old Deuteronomy seemed to find it more amusing than anything else. Tugger also was the one helping Old Deuteronomy up and down the tire. He loves his dad!

The Jellicle Ball

I mean, what can I say? The dancing was amazing, and lighting was fun, and there was so much happening it was hard to take in. All of the cast are really talented, and it was so impressive to see it in person!

I picked up on a lot of little moments in between the dancing. Throughout act one, Misto hangs out with both Skimbleshanks and Cassandra quite often, usually on top of the car. I noticed Tugger hanging out with Cassandra a few times as well. There quite a few interactions between Demeter and Munkustrap. They danced together at the ball, and I noticed that the moves weren’t dissimilar to the choreography between Misto and Tugger one of the times they danced together in The Rum Tum Tugger. There were also several instances where they seemed to check in with each other during scene transitions throughout the act. When Gus entered for the first time towards the end of the Ball, Jellylorum held his hand to help him onstage.

There was one really funny thing when Grizabella appeared after the Pas de Deux. When Misto spots her on the car, he makes all the hanging lights turn on, then jumped on the car himself to try and scare her away. He immediately turned to Jellylorum like: “Did I do a good job?” Grizabella, however, wasn’t scared away, and Munkustrap had to go up and shoo her away. Poor Misto, you tried your best.

Memory: Prelude

All the cats vacated the stage when Grizabella showed up again. Munkustrap stayed the longest, and as he was leaving he was still trying to keep an eye on her. Tayler Harris has a really amazing voice, and I was already excited for how Memory proper was going to sound. Also, during the song, when Grizabella was facing the audience Old Deuteronomy was watching her sadly, however several times she glanced behind her, and whenever she did, he would turn away from her, which I thought was an interesting detail.

Act Two

Moments of Happiness

There was a guy in my row who never came back during intermission. Weak.

Old Deuteronomy entered the stage a bit before intermission ended, which was cool. It’s too you couldn’t get pictures of him because of COVID, but I was happy I was able to get some photos from my seat.

This song also sounded amazing. It was portrayed as though Old Deuteronomy was trying to lecture the cats, but they just weren’t getting it. Jemima also sounded really good during her solo. One funny moment, right at the beginning, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer skipped onto the stage, only to get a look from Old Deuteronomy, and immediately looked guilty.

Gus, the Theatre Cat

Another sad number, but again, it’s supposed to be. Jellylorum did a good job, and also sold me old the fact she was happy to be talking about Gus’s past, but also sad, because it was likely he would be chosen tonight. At the beginning of the number either Tantomile or Coricopat set out a row of tin cans across the front of the stage and Misto used magic to turn them into stage lights. During the number, most of the cats were gathered at the back of the stage, but a few of the younger ones were sitting around Gus. Jenny and Skimbleshanks were sitting on top of the car together. Skimbleshanks, actually, was the one who looked offended when Gus said that jumping through a hoop doesn’t make you special. Misto was sitting on top of the pipe, and when Tugger entered part way through the song, the two of them seemed to have a quiet conversation.

The Aweful Battle of the Peakes and the Pollicles

This number was very fun! Gus was having a good time living out his glory days, and was acting pretty goofy while he was portraying the Rumpus Cat. During the number Tugger didn’t participate, but moved over to the tire to sit with Old Deuteronomy, and watch the show with him. During the part where everyone is barking at each other Munkustrap almost got trampled, which is when he yelled at everyone. Poor Munk. It’s not even his show anymore, and he still can’t catch a break.

Skimbleshanks, the Railway Cat

Another really fun one! There was a lot of energy, and everyone seemed like they were having a good time. It doesn’t matter what the production, Skimbleshanks is a very popular cat. At the beginning, both Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer helped sing lines, which was adorable!

Tugger didn’t dance for most of the song, only joinng in at the very end, but he was vibing the entire time. Throughout act two I kept glancing up at Tugger, and he was never out of character. Even if he was just standing there, it still felt like he was standing in a way that fit the character. The woman from before seemed amazed when they built the train on stage, which is the absolute correct reaction. Misto was the one holding the train light, which I know he usually does, but it was still adorable.

Macavity the Mystery Cat

When Macavity first appears everyone seemed frozen in place. It was pretty heavily implied that Macavity does have magical powers in this version. Munkustrap stepped forward to confront him, but Macavity glared and pointed at him, and Munkustrap froze, then collapsed on the stage, as if Macavity had forced him to pass out. It was only after that he grabbed Old Deuteronomy. I’m not sure if other productions have included that, but I really liked it. As well, for several of the Macavity scares, it looked to me like Tugger had a more active role of helping to look for him.

Both Demeter and Bombalurina were amazing in the song. It felt really jazzy, but also like they legitimately trying to warn all the other queens who were onstage. Munkustrap and several of the other toms entered towards the end of the number and watched the last bit of it. I’m not sure because I wasn’t focusing on him, but Munkustrap seemed relieved when he was back onstage, either because all of the queens were safe, of because Demeter and Bombalurina were warning everyone.

Macavity Fight

Again, Macavity has pretty apparent magic, because when he enters again he seems to forced several of the queens to start preforming the dance moves from his number again, before Munkustrap intervenes. I always find that really creepy when productions add that detail, and I’m happy it was included here.

The fight itself was intense as well. Poor Munk took quite a beating. After they swiped and threatened each other a bit, Macavity knocked Munkustrap to the ground. He got up pretty quickly, but seemed shaky. He immediately tried to reenter the fight, and then Macavity grabbed him and pinned him against the car, where he slashed at his throat twice. Munkustrap staggered a few steps before collapsing and staying down. It was actually pretty brutal, and I legitimately gasped when it happened. After Munkustrap went down, Macavity went after Demeter, and Alonzo pulled him off of her. That was when the entire tribe started going after Macavity, and he knocked the light out with the jumper cables.

Demeter and Munkustrap still had their cuddles after Macavity disappeared. Poor dears, I think they both really needed it.

Mister Mistoffelees

It’s my boy! Paul Giarratano and Zach Bravo both did an amazing job, and I was so excited to see this is person!

At the beginning, which I think is probably in most productions, the cats turned away from Tugger when he first suggested asking Misto for help, and he had to call them back. Tugger was so supportive of Misto, as any good Tugger should be. I can’t be completely certain, but I’m pretty sure Tugger didn’t take his eyes off of Misto for the entire number, which was so adorable, in my opinion. He loves him so much! I liked all the tricks they did with the lights to create magic effects. It would have cool if they had used flash paper and smoke effects, but this was still fun to watch. The dancing was a lot of fun as well, especially with Misto’s colour changing jacket, and the strings of light around the stage flashing rainbow colours.

Also… (Deep inhale)

I SAW THE CONJURING TURNS! IN PERSON! I SAW MISTO DO THE CONJURING TURNS, AND IT WAS AWESOME! VINDICATION! SWEET SWEET VINDICATION!

Anyway…

The way he brought back Old Deuteronomy was interesting. Instead of using the sheet Misto used magic to give everyone a candle or a like to hold, or something like that. They all gathered together, and when they separated, Old Deuteronomy was in the middle of the group.

When Tugger started singing again, after Old Deuteronomy appeared, it looked like Old Deuteronomy though he was singing about himself, but Tugger immediately redirected his attention to Mistoffelees. Then, after Misto hugged Old Deuteronomy, he and Tugger shimmied and nuzzled together, which was adorable.

The number ended on a funny moment, with Misto making the spotlight get smaller and smaller until it was just illuminating his face, before turning it out completely.

Memory

As I was hoping, this was beautiful, and sounded so amazing. Also, basically the entire thing was performed with Grizabella hunched out, and holy crap? How are you getting those high notes in that position?

When Grizabella first appeared again, Munkustrap stepped forward to chase her off, with Old Deuteronomy stopping him. He stepped forward again, to stop Victoria when she started to approach Grizabella after the number, and Old Deuteronomy had to hold him back again. This Munkustrap really did not like Grizabella.

I noticed that in this production Sillabub often acts similarly to Tugger, spending a lot of time watching the action from one the higher perches. She was doing the same thing in Macavity.

Journey to the Heaviside Layer

Very nice, and it’s always heartwarming when Grizabella is welcomed back into the tribe. Tugger actually reached out to her very quickly. Conversely, Munkustrap was the Second last to touch her, and didn’t actually moved towards her, he only touched Grizabella when she went to see Old Deuteronomy. He never looked her in the eye either, and was acting extremely guilty about the entire thing.

The tire rose up, but they also had what looked like a star bridge descend for Grizabella to climb up, which was a detail I liked.

The Ad-dressing of Cats

Very well sung, by both Old Deuteronomy and the rest of the cast. The lady in front of me seemed confused again, though I don’t know if it was about this song, or what had just happened to Grizabella. Skimbleshanks seemed very excited at the mention of cream.

Bows

Very entertaining! My hands hurt from clapping so much!

A final funny thing, after all the individual bows both Munkustrap and Jenny were teasing Tugger, and trying to steal the spotlight from him!

So that is that! I had so much fun! If anyone wants to talk more, or ask anything, I would enjoy that, but I hope you liked my field notes, as my friend called them. (I was typing them on my phone during intermission, and immediately after the show)

[penny-anna]

uhh ok i will try n say some nice things about it:

i really enjoyed Megan Fox & esp the part at the climax where she gets to team up w Bumblebee while he's injured that was fun

this one inexplicable good piece of music. the accompanying scene showing all the Autobots choosing their vehicle forms was also pretty cool.

a number of legitimately cool transformation sequences

Bumblebee (there's a whole scene where he gets tortured?? unexpectedly brutal)

following the scene where the guy eats 'the WHOLE plate of donuts' next time it cuts back to them there's an open bottle of pepto bismol on the table next to him which is legitimately pretty funny

god i really thought Transformers (2007) would be a better time. like i knew it wasn't gonna be good but i figured it would be at least tolerable?? genuinely unbearable movie. everyone in it is an asshole (humans and robots alike).

[emitheduck]

So. We're Soulmates? (Bucky x Reader)

A/N: my first soulmate AU, and I figured it was finally time, and bucky deserved one lol. no spoilers whatsoever

Soulmate AU where you have your soulmate’s birthday tattooed on your arm ---

March 10th, 1917.

(Y/n) had always thought, there was no possible way that the universe had ever, ever gotten her soulmate’s birthday right. When everyone was celebrating that their soulmate was around the same age as them, she got to look down in horror as she could practically see her soulmate’s life fly by. There was legitimately no possible way that her soulmate would even still be alive.

The rules of the soulmate were strange, and no one ever understood them or questioned them. It was found out sometime in the 80s that the dates on peoples forearms weren’t random--but the birthday of their soulmate. Because the universe was a cosmic nightmare, when someone’s soulmate died, the numbers went with them.

That’s what made this so strange.

Either (Y/n)’s soulmate was hanging onto life support, or the universe had fucked up and decided it was going to trick her into thinking she could find happiness like everyone else.

She had these feelings up until she got the faithful call one day, that she had landed the job with SHIELD and found out that she would be working in the helicarrier during the attack on New York. And that’s how she met Steve Rogers.

“You know, it’s kind of funny.” Steve sighed with a chuckle, shaking his head as he followed (Y/n) who was leading him to where he would be staying.

“What is?” She asked as she typed in the access code for one of the doors as they walked.

“The number on your arm. That’s my friend’s birthday.” Steve was smirking as he walked into his room. “I mean, it was his birthday.”

(Y/n) looked down at the date on her arm and sighed, her hand instinctively covering the date. “You sure he’s dead? Not some hundred-year-old veteran in a nursing home that you haven’t checked in on or something?” She was trying her best to not sound horrible for joking about his friend's death, but he seemed almost amused by her banter.

“Last I checked, he’s dead. I watched him fall off the train and everything.” He told her as he sat down on the edge of his bed. “His name was Bucky.” He told her as she turned around to leave, watching her stop for a moment to listen before she left.

Steve’s words always lingered in the back of her mind ever since that day on the helicarrier. She had seen the Bucky memorial spot in the museum, and the day she found out that he was alive, she would never forget (mostly because when it happened, she had dropped the bottle of wine she was holding on the floor and spent hours picking up tiny shards of glass).

The year was now 2023. Five years after the blip, and (Y/n) now fully retired from SHIELD. She left on good terms, but the years of working were just exhausting. Especially now that she came back after vanishing for five years and had to rebuild her life all over again. At least they were respectful, and were happy to give her the pay that she had missed out on.

It was hard enough having to deal with knowing all your close friends sacrificed themselves for the whole world, and not being able to do anything about it. That was the reason that kept her up most nights. The guilt of feeling like she could have done something, but never got the chance to, was the hardest feeling.

That’s what led (Y/n) to walking aimlessly around the grocery store at almost 2am. When she couldn’t sleep, sometimes the best thing to do was walk around pushing the cart and praying that the LED lights would calm her down enough to go home and face the empty apartment.

What she didn’t expect was turning the corner of the frozen section and crashing her cart into someone elses. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention.” (Y/n) apologize as she looked at the man in front of her. “I should have been looking. I guess I’m just tired.”

“I’m probably just tired too.” He chuckled, pulling his cart away from hers. Both the carts were empty anway. “You come here to walk around at night too?”

“How could you tell?” (Y/n) laughed, running a hand through her hair as she looked him over. He looked familiar, and knowing her luck he was some assassin that was stalking her, and came here to finish the job.

He motioned to their empty carts with a bob of his head. “Something about just pushing the carts around and listening to the crappy music makes me feel better too.” He smirked as he never broke eye contact. “Also, people normally buy food when they’re shopping.”

(Y/n) sighed, nodding. “You caught me. I’m just here to wander.”

“It’s okay. I am too. Sometimes staring at the TV isn’t enough.” He mumbled, shaking his head as he broke eye contact to look where his hands were gripping the handle of the cart. “Sorry, I’m just rambling I guess.”

“No, I get it.” She laughed it off, knowing it was late and sometimes people just kept talking when they were tired. “My names (Y/n).” She smiled, holding out her hand for him to shake.

He seemed to hesitate, but reached out and shook her hand. “My name’s Bucky.”

She could feel her mouth go dry. “Bucky?” There was just no, possible way that this was the man who has been in the back of her mind for years on end.

“I’m guessing you know who I am.” He muttered, already preparing himself to turn around and forget this interaction never happened. “Sorry, I should go.”

“Wait! No, I didn’t mean it like that.” (Y/n) exclaimed as she held her hands out to stop him from leaving. “I just have heard so much about you--not the way you think, it sounds so weird. I talked to Steve about you once, way back before the battle of New York.”

She peaked his interest at the mention of Steve. “You knew Steve?”

(Y/n) nodded. “He told me all about you. Look, I even have your birthday on my arm.” She told him, lifting up her sleeve to show him the date on her arm, watching his eyes go wide out of shock. “Steve liked to always tease me that I had your birthday, and I always told him that I probably had some old man, sitting in some hospital bed, decaying before our eyes. Wow, I am rambling, I am so sorry. I should leave.” She was bright red as she decided to just leave her cart where it was and accept the humiliation and leave.

“No, you don’t have to go.” Bucky told her, gently grabbing her arm to stop her from leaving. “I guess now that you showed me yours, I’ll show you mine.” He grinned as he let go of her arm, using his left hand to pull up his long sleeve. There on his arm, in bold black numbers was (Y/n)’s birthday clear as day.

“Do you maybe want to go get coffee at that 24 hour place across the street? We might have a bit we need to talk about.” She was dumbfounded. Steve would always tease and joke, telling her that Bucky was her soulmate just because it was the same birthday on her arm. But due to the fact that he was presumed dead for so long, (Y/n) never thought anything of it.

“Are you going to come inside? I’ve been holding the door open for almost a minute.” Bucky asked, laughing a little uncomfortably as he watched the woman just stand at the door of the diner. She didn’t even remember the walk to get there.

(Y/n) blinked, rubbing her eyes as she nodded and walked inside. The sign said seat yourself, and she found a nice seat by the window for the two of them. “Sorry. I guess I’m just a little speechless.”

He chuckled as he shifted in the booth. “I’ll be honest. Me too.”

“So. We’re soulmates.” She shrugged, feeling uncertain of herself. Finding her soulmate was never the first thing on her mind, because she never actually thought that she would find him. Sure, the universe also had a way of making the two cross paths at some point, but because of the age, she never cared.

“When I used to see the date on my arm, I thought it was a joke.” He told her, mumbling that he wanted a coffee when the waiter walked over and asked what they wanted. “She wants a coffee. Two cream, one sugar.” He said as the other man nodded and walked away.

“How did you know my coffee order?” She asked with a raise of her eyebrow.

Bucky opened his mouth like he was about to speak but sighed. “I legit have no idea. My brain was working for me, and it just came out.”

(Y/n) laughed. “I mean, we’re cosmically linked so it does make sense.” The coffee was set down in front of them and she smiled as she held onto the mug. “Is this when I ask if you can tell me about yourself?”

“Where do I start?” He asked as he set his coffee down after taking a sip. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes, but I go by Bucky. James is only for when shit hits the fan I guess.”

“I think I prefer Bucky.” She smiled, watching as his cheeks turned red for a moment.

“What about you Doll? What fun thing do you have to tell me?” Bucky asked her with a smirk, making it her turn to blush.

“I worked for SHIELD, that’s where I met Steve. But then there was that time we found out that Hydra was inside of SHIELD, and technically you tried to kill me.” She pointed out, watching as he put his head down in shame. “But that’s all in the past now. I’m not that person anymore.”

He took a sip of his coffee before he spoke. “What changed?”

(Y/n) sighed, shaking her head as she held onto her coffee mug for warmth. “I was pretty close with Steve and Natasha. Tony helped me get the job at SHIELD, too. Three people that I looked up to more than anything, were gone before I ever got a chance to say goodbye.” She told him, knowing that there would be no more tears left to cry. Her tear-ducts seemed to stop working after she had cried for days straight that they were gone.

“I wasn’t very close to anyone but Steve, but I do understand how you feel.” He told her, leaning across the table to rest a hand on her shoulder. “Do you live in the city?”

“I live pretty close to Hell’s Kitchen.” She told him, watching as he nodded. “I’m guessing you live in Brooklyn?”

He looked a little surprised, but still smiled. “How could you tell?”

She smiled back, a little shy. “Some part of me just knew, but the other part of me heard Steve talk about Brooklyn all the time. He loved it there, and I guess I thought you did too.”

“It’s definitely still amazing, but a lot has changed. I’m still getting used to it all.” Bucky confessed, putting down some money for the coffee as they both finished and stood up from the table.

(Y/n) checked her phone and sighed at the time. 3:30 in the morning, and there was no way she was going to sleep now. Now, she was going to ride the train and hope that the rocking of the subway would be enough to turn her mind off for a while. “I should get going. It’s getting late, and I’m taking the train back.”

He nodded, seeming a little uneasy that she was about to leave. “Do you maybe want my number? We could meet up someday, maybe get to know eachother better?”

She grinned as she handed him her phone. “Put your number in.” She told him as they traded phones, smirking as she put in her contact. “I put my information as (Y/n)-Soulmate, just in case you seemed to forget.”

“Oh trust me, I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” Bucky chuckled as he looked at her contact. “Promise you’ll call?”

“Considering the fact I’ve known you for a few hours, and I’m already completely head-over-heels for you, I don’t think you have to worry.” (Y/n) told him, leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Bye for now, but not bye forever.”

Bucky was grinning like an idiot, and he knew it. “I like the sound of that. I still just can’t believe I found you after all these years.”

“You better believe it, because you’re going to be seeing a lot more of me from now on.”

MASTERLIST

[sfb123]

7,19 22, and 23 for the three songs ask

Ooooh so many numbers for me to answer! Thank you so much for asking! 🥰

"the three songs" ask set

7. three songs you didn’t expect to like but eventually loved

I answered this one in a previous post. I had a hard enough time thinking of these three, or else I'd come up with three more for you! 😂

19. three songs that are your guilty pleasure

The funny thing about this one is that I'm pretty open about my weirdness, so I don't know if there are any songs I would actually feel guilty about listening to. But here are a couple that I think fit the bill.

I know Paris Hilton is a big deal DJ now, but back in the day, she tried to be a pop star. She succeeded in being a one hit wonder. And this song slaps. I still listen to it on the regular.

The fact that I even know an O-Town deep cut is proof positive that this one deserves a shout out. This song is so good because of how truly corny it is. It’s a “love” song that is basically spoken in all cheesy pickup lines, and it’s hilarious. This definitely comes off more as a parody boy band song, but it is, in fact, a band that was supposed to be taken seriously.

This song in 1999? A jam.

This song in 2022? A problem. 

I’m not going to dig into it here, just take a look at the lyrics. The message of the song is not great, like at all, but I still dance in my seat whenever it comes on. 

22. three songs you listen to when you’re sad

Anything No Doubt is always my go-to when I’m feeling down. They’re my favorite band, so listening to them just makes me happy. This song in particular is one that I listen to when I’m feeling sad, and want to remind myself that I’m a bad bitch and I can handle whatever is making me sad. 

Not technically No Doubt, so I’m counting it. This is my go to song when I’m sad and instead of pumping myself up, I want to cry it out.

When I’m sad, I need comfort. Disney is my number one comfort, and of course Ariel is my number one princess. I have a whole Disney playlist that I go to when I’m sad. This song, while one of my favorites, also serves as a representative for all of those comfort songs from my childhood. 

23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up

I answered this one here, but I’ll pick three more for you! 

This is a newer pick. I’ve never been much of a fan of it, to be honest. It was just that song I had to listen to for a few seconds before The Hills started. Then, a radio show I listen to created a playlist that they called “go girl rock”, which is basically exactly what it sounds like, and this song was on that. I listened to the playlist, because there were some great songs on it. Then this song came on, and I listened to is from beginning to end, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t legitimately feel hyped and ready to take on the world by the end of it. 

I sometimes refer to Fall Out Boy as my college boyfriends. They were the band I listened to the most during that time in my life. I’ve also seen them more times than I can even remember (and met them two or three times too), and they ALWAYS end the show with Saturday. The song is hype, and the album version alone could get me pumped, but the fact that this song will always bring me back to those amazing live moments is what pumps me up the most about it. I hear this song, and I feel like I’m ready to mosh (notice I said feel like, I’m far to dainty of a flower to actually mosh at a concert). 

This song is a whole ass party. It’s upbeat, it’s fun, and the lyrics embody the ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think’ attitude I try (emphasis on try) to live by.

[palmtreepalmtree]

Good afternoon, friends and enemies. Pull up a seat, because as promised, I'm about to share another Christmas Edition of...

The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™

Today we have a double-header in which I will discuss A California Christmas as well as its sequel, A California Christmas: City Lights.

This pair of films stars Josh and Lauren Swickard, the real-life married couple who you may remember from my review of Roped. Is that playing a role in the quality of film here? Well, we'll get to that.

On re-watch, I realized pretty quickly why I did not review the first A California Christmas movie last year -- it's got a pretty significant cancer storyline, which for reasons you may or may not know, is not my favorite (fuck cancer forever lalalalala!).

Anyhow, let me hit you with the premise here: playboy and fuckabout Joseph Van Aston is threatened by his mother, the CEO of the family conglomerate, that if he doesn't get serious in the business, she is going to fire him and cut him off. She's giving him one last chance - and one task to accomplish: get the Brenet family to sell their small dairy farm so that the company can build a warehouse on the spot. Accepting the assignment, off Joseph goes to convince the family daughter Callie Brenet to sign the papers and sell their farm. Merry fucking Christmas to them, I guess.

Callie, meanwhile, is deep in the shit. I mean, she is DEEP IN THE SHIT. She is caring for her mother who is terminally ill with cancer, drowning in her mom's medical debt, taking care of her younger sister, and running the dairy farm all by herself. On top of that, my girl lost her dad and her fiancé in a sudden truck accident some number of years before. To barely stay afloat, she works the farm all day, then goes to her second job at night as a bartender. Callie is fucking alone.

Remember when I was talking about how Snowbound for Christmas had nothing at stake - no conflict, and nothing anyone seemed to be worried about? Remember that? Well this movie is the fucking opposite of that. Callie has a whole damn universe of grief on her shoulders. I mean... this movie is fucking SAD.

And into that comes Joseph. Instead of taking the direct approach, he somehow gets mistaken for the new ranch hand, "Manny." And he just goes along with it. He moves onto the farm, pretending to be Manny the Farmhand, looking for the right opening to ask Callie to sell the farm......?

Joseph's end game is super unclear from the get go, but it's a sound movie premise to throw Callie and Joseph together, and to get this romance going. And honestly, this whole depressing movie would be completely unbearable to watch if it weren't for the spare amount of levity brought by...

THE SIDEKICKS

The saving grace of this movie -- what takes it from being a weepy depressing melodrama to something even remotely watchable -- is the comic relief storyline of Leo & Manny. While Joseph is pretending to be Manny the Farmhand, his manservant/driver named Leo has to distract the real Manny from ever arriving.

The two of them (Leo on the left, Manny on the right) end up holing up in an Air BnB while Leo samples the region's wines and Manny plays video games and provides Joseph with phone advice about how to run a dairy farm.

Manny, played by David Del Rio, has all the talent here. He is legitimately fucking funny. He takes a pretty weak role and just eats it up, breathing some life into it and into the whole movie and winds up keeping the whole thing from drowning in tears.

He is really the only reason to watch this movie. His story arc is funny, and I enjoyed every second he was on screen (especially his cow-patterned pajamas).

MORE MANNY, PLEASE.

The End of Part One

Listen. This movie is alright. Josh and Lauren have a decent chemistry together and the director definitely takes advantage of that. On the sliding scale of these kinds of movies, the writing on this one is even okay (btw Lauren wrote it). It's got stakes - the stakes ramp up - it's got emotion. Someone definitely made a movie here. I mean, it's a sad maudlin little movie with a slapdash happy ending stuck on it (how in the world does Joseph get forgiven here!?!?!?), but it's a movie nonetheless.

However, in the end, this movie is just not a good holiday romance. You'll be watching this movie and thinking, WHERE THE FUCK IS CHRISTMAS? There's no fucking snow. There's like ten seconds of Christmas lights, and the only Christmas song you'll hear comes at the end. If you want a Christmas movie, this one is not it.

So when it came to watching the next one...

I said to myself, IF MANNY IS NOT IN THIS FUCKING MOVIE THEN I AM NOT WATCHING IT.